The fear of loneliness stops me from making life choices. Any advice about this?

the fear of loneliness stops me from making major changes to my life...


any advice?


how do you cope with worries about loneliness?





i'd really appreciate serious answers please, and no one word answers!The fear of loneliness stops me from making life choices. Any advice about this?
I suppose that not making choices can actually lead to loneliness. Making a major life change can be difficult, however, if you think that the change can be healthy, beneficial, and have some positive impact overall, then it might be wise to turn toward that road; weigh the pros and cons of making that choice and not making that choice and see what you come up with. In regards to worrying about loneliness, worrying is going to make you that much lonely. I believe this because worry is a close relative of anxiety and avoidance, ';worry thoughts'; or ';catastrophic thinking and awfulizing'; can hinder any progress we could be making, it is how we have decided to look at things, are they usually bad/ominous or are they optimistic/exciting. Only you can turn your mind over to looking at things a little differently. Don't be worried about failure, we all fail or cannot meet certain goals from time to time, just keep trying, the benefits will be there, but it takes time and persistence.The fear of loneliness stops me from making life choices. Any advice about this?
Hello, Im Dr. Hosegood,


I have your answer.


Loneliness is all mental. You need to first search within yourself and find out why you have this dependency on other people. Although God intented for us to have a mate in life, there is a period, no matter how long or when it is, when we have to be alone, before we can learn to live with someone else and there problems, we first need to learn to live with ourselves and our problems. You need to take sometime to find yourself. Find out who you are and stop looking for someone else to fill the internal gap you have. Once you are stable in who you are, and you know who you are, then you will be able to live with loneliness, because you are happy with yourself. And stop looking so hard for love or even just a companian. Surround yourself with good friends and fun times, and when the time comes, love will find you.





Hope this helps.


Dr. Hosegood
There are a lot of people who use self-talk to handle what is going on inside their minds. When self-talk is not monitored cautiously it can lead to drastic effects not only on one鈥檚 personality but also affects its mentality and psychology. Self-talk is a type of conversation which we conduct with ourselves. In literature we call it soliloquy. Brain鈥檚 reticular activating system never forgets what we repeat again and again. Ironically this system can not recognize what is beneficial to the individual and what is not. Think you can, think you can't; either way, you'll be right- a saying goes like this. Therefore when ever we 鈥榯alk鈥?with ourselves, we should be cautious, very cautious in fact. If I recall there is a book 鈥榮elf-talk solutions鈥?which is every effective in this scenario.
Find good friends to help you.
This is a very common problem, a lot of people stay in unhealthy relationships, friendships and circumstances because of this fear and others. You have to make a commitment to better your self. Start picking up some new hobbies, take some classes and really begin to discover who you are and what you want out of your life. Start just doing somethings for yourself and by yourself and gradually work up to maybe a whole day or two when you just focus on you. Remember that you can not change other people but you really can change yourself, and believe me you have made the biggest step you need to, which is realizing that you need improvement. It also really is a good idea to talk to a counselor or therapist, it helps to have some one who is trained and can give you some guidance. You may end up making the changes in 1 year with someone elses help where it may have taken you 3 years on your own. Check out your local clinics and stuff, some places charge you sliding fees where you may only pay like 5 dollars a visit. Good luck, if you are really committed to change YOU WILL.
Hi!





This is a problem that plagues all of us from time to time.


1. First of all ,as an adult u have to recognise that loneliness is a common problem in life today...people have their own routines and little time to spare for family or friends.





2. You need to identify areas of interest--- a hobby or pursuit that keeps u engaged





3. social networking--- keeping in touch with family, friends and colleagues





4. u are as lonely as u feel......so develop activities such as reading, listening to music etc.





5. all of us have worries ---the point is how we cope with them


be positive, look at those who are less fortunate and count your blessings.





Cheers n chin up:)
my friend i ll try to answer to your question as i am not the appropriate one that can figures out with this.Firstly your problem is very common and i can say that sometimes i deal with the same problem (believe me..i understand you!!!)Loneliness is a fear that have such a huge number of people..nobody want to be alone..without friends...relatives...wife...girlfriend.鈥?generally without some people with who you can express yourself ....i have observed that the most times these fears of loneliness are momentary so that they are some temporary emotions everybody feels in some occasions of his life...These fears are generally exist in our minds...but that's not a problem...because we have to make ourselves understand that they are stupid ones like the fears of dark!so you haven't make your choices based on your fears..because for example,if you have fears of dark and you want to take something very important from your room in which the light cant turn on you have to overcome your fears and everything so as to take what you want from the room...thus please make your choices without take too seriously these fears...also the only thing that you have to care about is to be responsible of what you do...come on...take some risks..and remember you may feel loneliness ..i think that you have to take down this word...do you have friends??people who really love you?then you are not alone...and if you think you haven't you are wrong because they are people that love you deeply that you don't know it!also you have a new friend...me!finally...make your choices freely..don't be afraid...the strong people aren't afraid!!!i hope i helped you!good luck in your major choices!c ya
You have to realize that life goes on, whether your standing by or on the bus. Some of the worst times in my life where when I moved into a new city or went to a new school or took a new job. Being lonely is the underlying basis of what most people fear. When someone says they are afraid of the dark, its not the dark they're afraid of but being alone in the dark. People aren't afraid to die. The one's who say they are most likely believe they are going to be alone or are leaving someone behind to be alone. So how do you deal with it. You just do. You find things that help you take your mind off of the loneliness. I like working with my hands, whether its cooking, woodworking or thumbing through a good book (I don't actually read, just thumb). In the end, I still worry about being alone all the time, but I also know that I have other things in my life that make me feel alive and like I exist. Knowing this makes it easier to move through day to day.
You need to get used to being alone. Friends come and go, and family can not always be there. When all is said and done, you are alone in this life. Everyone is.
It's not fear of loneliness; it's fear of rejection. (Fear of loneliness would drive you towards making relationships.) Staying clear of possibilties because of fear of rejection definitely keeps you safe - you never have to face possible rejection. On the other hand, it's clearly keeping you lonely. Face your fear; embrace your fear. Just because someone rejects you does not make you unappealing, unloveable, a ';loser.'; I doubt anyone has gone through life without being rejected by someone - so even if the ';worst'; happens - you're in good company. Visualize the scene prior to doing anything. Visualize it clearly as you would like it to happen. Don't be specific and don't think of it in negative terms. (';I am happy with the relationships I've made and have several very good friends, '; rather than ';I'm going to stop being such a loser and never making friends.';) Don't get fused to your goals - expect that eventually the best will happen for you, you just don't know when. (Even when it's not exactly what you thought you wanted, it's often better.)


Worries about anything send off negative vibrations, leading people to be less likely to be attracted to you. Until you become confident, fake it. (It's not being phony. You are who you choose to be - whatever that is.)


Namaste,


Susi